During the winter, life seems to slow down,
like our bodies require more self care and maintenance. The type of care needed during the transition from a fast paced Chicago autumn to slow inconsistent winter is taboo in our culture, there is no need to discuss the importance of it. For example, how we just dive in Winter break after a busy academic semester. We go from socially enjoying good weather in a variety of engagements to confining ourselves to the lonely indoor heat of our houses. Even more lonely if you don’t have a car or Uber funds for days. And like routine, I too dived quickly into the transition. And I knew I was rushing something, because even though this time is was given to me to relax, I still craved to be in the company of people, lovers and associates, just as if school was in session. The problem with this was that I was repeatedly finding myself sad and disappointed in others for not reciprocating the love and affection I was conditioned to receiving during the school year. I did not know how to experience love by myself or with other things/people/places.
Limiting My Love, Constraining My Freedom to be Happy
So I meditated to really face this challenge within me. I realized that I was limiting the love within me. The reality was, I was abusing myself by only allowing my opportunities to love to be with a few people. I was putting so much energy in being sad and disappointed in those few people who could not provide me happiness in the roughness of winter. I was failing to realize that I am not truly mad at folks for doing their lone thang embracing winter break… but REALLY I was obsessing over the way love makes me feel, happy and blessed. And if God is love, and we have God in all of us, I can experience that love whenever and wherever I want!
Creating Love
Once I realized, love was inside of me, it was over with, lit. The pain was over, and the healing began. So, what if Tyrone stood you up, he is a Tyrone and you cannot limit him to the only opportunity you experience of love. I went outside, and found love in places I never expected. As I walked out the door, I instantly submerged in the immense gratitude this cold winter had to offer. This whole Earth is experiencing a time of deep healing and rejuvenation. The cold air embraced me with kisses, and I felt warm inside, I felt so in love. And then, I experienced more love at a yoga session as I saw the reflection of my genuine spirit reflected in all the smiles of the other beautiful people in class.
Say Goodbye to the Lies
The way society romanticizes relationships, really confuses us to understanding when and how can you experience love. It is not true, that you need to be with another person to experience or strengthen your love. When I am alone, I always try to empower myself to experience love in new places and spaces to aspire a closer relationship with all things created by God. That is just the beginning of my gratitude. That is the being God intended me to be.
Psalms 23: 2-3 "He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."
Psalms 23: 2-3 "He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."
